Round 1: The Empire of Lies

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Good day people. My name is Jim Lynch, and I'm going to make sure half the cast are Libertarians by the end of the season. Ron Paul is my hero, so I will frequently cite him in my confessional. He's a good man, an honest man, and a man trying to change America for the better. 

Wise words as always, Sweet Prince.

Anywho, I am in Tasmania. Now, most people know Tasmania because the devil lives here, but I know Tasmania because of Cascade. It's good stuff, and it's brewed here. On the whole, I chatted to a few people so far.

Liz and I know each other because being in the same group chat as the host means you end up finding out other people are in the game with you. Liz is nice, but I am not playing with her. Jim is playing for Jim, and will probably vote Liz out for shits and giggles. Odds are we'll be in some early alliance if we're on the same tribe, but I hope we're on different tribes. 
Pete is apparently new to AIM ORGs, but I like the kid. He's a nice guy who has a good sense of humor and some interesting meta commentary. If I'm with him, we're together.
Joe likes beer. I like beer. I have a feeling we'll be friends.
Natalie and Parvati are both nice but I didn't feel the same connection with them as I had with Pete or Joe. 

Hm...there's nobody or nothing to hate besides that bitch Hillary Clinton. Instead, I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as this game. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. PW Austin. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything–eve–everything that exists — past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Another cast update.

I love Pete, and he's my favorite person I've met so far. He's an absolute blast, so hopefully he and I end up on the same tribe. Please let us be on the same tribe. Between chip pancakes, drinking stories, and Chav battles, this kid is a riot. 

Natalie and I don't have too much in common, and connecting with her is hard. Scratch her off the list of Ayn Rand fanatics.

Woo is an interesting individual, and by interesting, I mean annoying. By god, it's like a puppy got its' paws on crystal meth. A hyperactive little fuck, dancing around and annoying me endlessly. He's an untrained dog. My German Shepard, Atlas, is the pinnacle of well-trained dogs. I'll sick Atlas on this idiot and see how he reacts then. 

Parvati and I hit it off today. She's very passionate about teaching, and has a great view on the world. I like her a lot.

Laura is an ORG icon who is going to tank my game (if I can't do it on my own). 

Vince popped in for a cameo. 

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Oh and So is boring.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

FUCK. I get separated from Joe, Parvati, and Pete, the three people I've talked to the most and have Natalie and Woo, two people that I haven't clicked with. Now, I haven't talked to Keith, Katie, or Malcolm. This tribe is a massive question mark right now. There are a few pluses in that LAURA, ABI, AND NATALIE ALL OFFERED ME ALLIANCES WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL IS HAPPENING. Why the fuck did 3 people offer me alliances right out of the gate? Jesus Christ, it's Bizarro Survivor. I already have 3 allies, and I'm sure they have more. I might actually try to win the challenge, just so I don't have to deal with getting voted out. I don't trust these bastards.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Normally, I hate winning individual challenges. People see you as a threat when you do, and it means you're forced to continue winning if you want to survive in the game. However, with Redemption Island in play, I'm going to work my ass of on winning this one to make it seem like I'm too strong of a player to vote out. Make them think I'm much better than I actually am, so if I do get sent to Redemption Island, they'll think of me as this challenge machine that will storm back into the game and crush them all. Post counts are enabled so these fools can eat the dust I leave behind, because I'm blowing everyone out of the water.

Meanwhile, I've shored things up with Pete. He and Parvati have a deal, and I have one via proxy with her through him, but I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. We've been sharing info about each other's tribes regularly, and if there's a swap/when we merge, I'll be reconnecting with the two of them. Having a hidden, cross-tribal alliance is great at this stage in the game, because we'll all be covered in the event of a swap.

When we go to Tribal Council, I figured I'd stray vote on Abi just to cause problems. I honestly hate this tribe, so I'm going to poke a few people with a stick, and watch them self-destruct. Operation Let Other People Crash And Burn is now a go.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

I love Pete.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

I shored things up with Parvati, she, Pete, and I are a strong trio. Fucking sweet. We're going to be pulling the string and dominating this tribe just like Ron Paul dominates every time he grabs a mic. In other news, Natalie, Laura, Liz, and I are in a group chat (you need to have a group chat to be in a real alliance, duh) and then Natalie aptly named it Jim's Angels. I appreciate the love, even though this is temporary. They plan on adding Abi to the alliance now, so I won't vote against her, because that would be bad. Maybe Woo. Who knows?

[Austin]

Oh hey I can post in here now.








Nerd.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Please remove this jackass from my confessional or I'll go on strike.

Also, I WON IMMUNITY. THESE FUCKING NERDS CANNOT TOUCH ME. PAPAPAUL BLESSED HIS PRODIGAL SON AND I WILL DELIVER GREATNESS UPON HIM.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

As it stands, Malcolm is going home. Inactives can kiss my saggy old ass, so sending Malcolm packing will be nice. After that, my sets are set on Woo. He's annoying, and I don't appreciate him on this tribe. Keith has been less active, but at least Keith isn't actively offending people.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Oh my god, this is like a fucking Warriors reunion. Abi/Laura have distinctive typing styles, and Natalie is playing as a back-up rep and has used sayings from Warriors and her favorite musician is Beyonce. This is some spooooooky shit. I still need a moment to contemplate I made a deal with the devil.

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Pete insulted Austin. They grow up so fast <3

[Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch]

Keith and I are bonding because we're both older assholes. I believe we're now in an alliance called The Bingo Club.