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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:34:33 GMT
Listen to me! I am not losing a bet to Bob Kelso!
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:34:44 GMT
If I’m not back in twenty minutes, I don’t want you to worry because it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way home.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:35:01 GMT
You got the number from Jordan, didn’t you. She hates me.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:35:41 GMT
You’re right, Newbie, we have been working together for a while. Of course, I wouldn’t know the exact number of days unless I consulted my Friends For Life calendar that I keep taped inside my hope chest.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:36:08 GMT
You know what? I’ve got a son, I don’t fantasize about Jordan dying as much anymore, and, even though it wasn’t planned, I’m actually pretty happy about the way this whole marriage thing has worked out. Sooo, would you please stop your chirping and step away from my personal life?
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:36:23 GMT
Bob, I deeply dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:36:47 GMT
Lookit, enough of the squawk-box, all right? And just keep your eye on the road, whatta you say?
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:37:11 GMT
Sure, is he in fact a latex-encased robot with real human hair and a circuit board where his heart should be? I can’t…I can’t rule that out.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:37:26 GMT
It’s a diagnosis of a ridiculously obscure disease when it’s much more likely that the patient has a common illness presenting with uncommon symptoms. In other words, if you hear hoof-beats, you just go ahead and think horsies — not zebras. Mm’kay, Mr. Silly Bear?
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:37:39 GMT
As much as it may seem like it to me, personally, I feel desperately compelled to remind you that we are in fact not in prison. And I am just so not your bitch!
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:37:54 GMT
What’s the matter? Are you getting all sore around that hump above your butt where your tail used to be?
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:38:24 GMT
Oh. Would everyone please watch this? Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy. He leads off with the Chin Quiver. Then he goes right to the Look Away. He tries to hold it back but he just can’t because there’s too much pain! And then finally, he squeezes out one single…tear…Ladies and gentlemen, that is some quality Crack Addict Theatre!
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:38:45 GMT
What could you possibly want from me in exchange for my support? Because I’m telling you right now, I am not dating that daughter of yours.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:38:56 GMT
I’d make you swear on a Bible, but I know how contact with holy stuff makes your skin sizzle. So just…promise me?
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:39:28 GMT
Oh! Yawn.
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