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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:10:55 GMT
Newbie, give me a little trouble? I’m having some help here.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:11:06 GMT
SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT CAME OUT BLUE! IT’S BLUE! SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT’S BLUE! IT CAME OUT BLUE!!
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:11:22 GMT
Well gosh, I guess I became a doctor because, ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don’t…tell this story very often, but, I remember when I was seven years old, one time I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. And so, I picked him up, and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox, and — Oh my God! —- I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does: Chicks, money, power, and chicks. But, since HMOs have made it virtually impossible to make any real money, which directly affects the number of chicks who come sniffing around — and don’t ask me what tree they’re barkin’ up, ’cause they’re sure as hell not pissin’ on mine. And as far as power goes, well, here I am during my free time letting some thirteen-year-old psychology fellow who couldn’t cut it in real medicine ask me questions about my personal life. So, here’s the inside scoop, there, pumpkin: Why don’t you go ahead and tell me all about power.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:11:32 GMT
You know, you’re not looking as processed and overly-medicated as usual.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:11:47 GMT
Ahhh, sorry to interrupt you, there, Bobbo, but I gotta ask you a quick question. Now, when you were born — nay, spawned” — by the Dark Prince himself, did that rat-bastard forget to give you a hug before he sent you along your way? Because you can’t just let two good nurses go on account of feeling small and insignificant. And, besides, with your money, you oughtta able to keep a little man tucked away in the closet and bring him out whenever you want to knock him around, huh?”
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:12:03 GMT
Enggghhh! That’s the noise I make when somebody lies to me.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:12:16 GMT
You’re a doctor? Here, all this time I had thought that you were some kind of parasitic creature who lived shoulder-deep inside Big Bob’s colon.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:12:31 GMT
Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn’t just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic Hockey team’s victory at Lake Placid. Miracle on Ice…gone!
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:12:45 GMT
So Jordon tells me that while you were on your world leukemia tour, you neglected to visit a single doctor, medicine man, or scary shaman with the giant saucers in his ears. Psst. Ben. Turns out cancer’s the kind of ailment that you occasionally want to check up on.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:13:10 GMT
Oh, happy day. She’s blown a fuse.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:13:23 GMT
You see Dr. Wen in there? He’s explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He’s gonna tell them what happened, he’s gonna say he’s sorry, and then he’s going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that’s why we make jokes. We don’t do it because it’s fun — we do it so we can get by…and sometimes because it’s fun. But mostly it’s the getting by thing.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:13:39 GMT
You got so much Botox in your expressionless face, I can’t tell.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:13:53 GMT
Jordan, he’s starting to look like a guy and I’m just not real big on kissing guys. When my father showed me affection, he would purposely miss when he threw bottles at my head.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:14:09 GMT
If Jordan were conscious, she’d… she’d agree. Now who put that fake arrow through her head? Huh? Which one of ya? It was me. I did it.
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Post by Diggy Diesel J Jim Bomb Lynch on Apr 25, 2015 1:14:22 GMT
I’m talking legitimate doctors, turtle head. Here, Pee-Pants is a pathologist, so he doesn’t count. Johnson is a dermatologist, which is Greek for fake doctor,” and please don’t even get me started on you four surgeons.”
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